UKTC 2023

This year was the second year that SKABB sent a team to the UK Team Challenge (UKTC). Last year the SKABB Stoutfellows - myself, Oli, Marc and Matt - managed to finish 8th which was much beyond our expectations. 

This year, the Stoutfellows returned, along with a second team, the SKABBy Seconds (Captain Tommy, David E, Stu M and Craig). On top of this, Ross and Marianne joined up with some of our Brigton friends on the BriBBe Chip Stealers team, meaning we had 10 SKABBers On Tour. Here is pictorial proof.

This is the largest group of SKABBers who have attended a tournament outside of Kent, setting a new world record! I expect the Guiness folks will be calling us any minute now.

The draw for the event was made the day before and was released as we were travelling up there. We discovered that we were drawn against one of the Brighton teams and the smack talk began, with Oli wagering a round of orange squash that we would beat them. 

After an evening out at Brew York (concrete jungle where dreams are made of) and the now traditional meal at the Pavement Vaults, we woke early and negotiated our way to the venue. After the captains registered our teams and collected our tournament block dice, and I bought the dairy free milkshake I'd been waiting a year for as the cafe closed earlier than I expected last year, we made our way to the tables.

Round 1

Not only were we paired up against a team we knew well, I was playing Sid who was my opponent in the last game at the last NAF event I had attended (the Pissed Up Terry Testimonial). This strange coincide wasn't enough to stop him ripping apart my Elf Union team with his renegades. Look at his face, you can tell how guilty he is!

Marc was drawn against Bob who he had played a few times before and Matt was playing Lollo who has beautifully painted a few teams for Oli previously. 

Sid was a joy to play against, but my dice really stopped me mounting any challenge against him and he refused to give back the dice I'd gifted to him which ended up putting a large number of my players in the dugout. Our team won our other 3 games, so we pulled off a team win for the Stoutfellows. The Seconds got 2 draws and two narrow losses, and the Chip Stealers I think lost all four games. (I add "think" because I know one of Ross's results was recorded the wrong way round and I think it may have been this one).

Round 2

Our victory meant we moved up to the main room. The event is split across two large rooms at the University of York, although they're separated by no more than a minute's walk. We had been in the main room for all of the previous year which has more tables and a louder more boisterous atmosphere.

We were drawn against the Squad Chaos Slanesh team comprising Wobert (who I had just passed on some donations for Thrudball to and reminded him of a double skulls block that he talked me into when we played last year at the NAFC Sevens event that I am TOTALLY OVER), Heff, Padster and Gr4n0t4, more commonly known as Ricardo. 

I was playing Ricardo's ogre team. I love playing as ogres, however I feel that a six block ogre build should be classed as a criminal offence under the Human Rights Act. Look how happy he is at pitch clearing my poor little elves who just wanted to have a little dance around the pitch. What a big meanie pants he is! 

Despite this, I managed a 2-2 draw. This is the third time I've played Ricardo and we've got 1 win apiece so I'm looking forward to the next time when we can hopefully decide who the real winner is! (The answer will be BloodBowl). Ricardo is awesome and really fun to play, and this is genuinely one of my favourite photos ever which I will cherish for a long time. As a team, we lost 2 and drew 2, meaning the Stoutfellows suffered their first ever UKTC defeat, having racked up 3 wins and 3 draws last year. 

This was the first of I think three times where our team was separated by either an aisle, or on completely different sides of the room. It makes it much harder to captain a team under these circumstances. Last year, for all of our games, we were sat as a team of four, and I feel it made for a much more enjoyable experience, although obviously the organisers may have been limited by the layout of the venue. The Seconds got a team loss, despite Tommy winning and David drawing. The Chip Stealers were unlucky to not get a result with three draws in their matchup.

Round 3

For the final game of the day, I was playing Lee from the Shropshire league and his skaven. Lee was great, and we had a good chat after the game. I was worried I wasn't an enjoyable opponent to play against, as I was getting quite downbeat. Along with his rat ogre and mighty blow blitzer, he got a prayer to nuffle which gave the other blitzer mighty blow and many of my team decided to go and hide in the dugout. 

I said to my teammates after the game that it didn't really feel like I was playing the game. I only lost 2-1, but I lost players and the ones that were on the pitch weren't doing anything I asked them to do. I did try for a 1 turn touchdown at the end of the first half but after getting my sidestepper 3 squares forward, I couldn't work out a way to get another square of movement that would have put him in scoring range, unfortunately. 

Lee said after the game that he didn't want to comment on how bad my dice were, which downplays the fact that he was a better player than me. He did tell me that he'd come 7th last year with lizards, and I was just pleased that I didn't come up against that team. I felt like I must have used up a lifetimes supply of 1s during the Saturday, and was sure to roll nothing but sixes and pows on the Sunday. 

As a team, the Stoutfellows lost the match up despite 1-1 draws from Oli and Matt. Marc's skaven were running out of players against his opponent (The Bymster)'s dark elves and he made a positional error which meant his ball carrying gutter runner was in surfing range. For this game we were literally on opposite sides of the room, so had no idea how 2 of the games were going.

The seconds got a win, with David and Craig both winning and draws in the other two games, and the Chipstealers narrowly lost their matchup. This meant that after day 1, the Stoutfellows and the Seconds both had 1-0-2 records, and the Chipstealers unfortunately had 3 losses.

Some of us went to Atithi for an Indian in the evening, which I can highly recommend if you visit York. I was busy feeling sorry for myself but woke the next day having put day 1 out of my mind. 

Round 4

For round 4 we were playing Alpha Gamers, who had beaten the Chip Stealers in Round 2. I was up against Mark who I had played previously at the COSH team event we went to last year. Out of my six games, he was the third opponent who I had played previously. I remembered our previous game much better than he did - his Chaos Chosen had rolled 1s on GFIs with no re-rolls to score twice during the game which gave my Elf Union a victory in our previous match up. 

This time my elves were facing his Khrone team and after kicking to him, I found myself 1-0 down going into my turn 8. I had another attempt at a 1 turn touchdown but unfortuantely didn't get the diceI needed. 

I had around 7 players in the knocked out box who came back across the two kick offs for my turn 8 and turn 9. With an early casualty, I actually had the numbers advantage and spent the half playing for a draw and running away from his big mean frenziers. On turn 16, Mark had got a line of players in front of my ball carrier who attempted to blitz free. He got a push on the player directly in front of him, needing a 3+ dodge, a 2+ dodge and a 2+ rush to draw the match. He rolled two 2s... for the 3+ meaning Mark got his revenge for our previous meeting. 

As a team the Stoutfellows drew, with Matt also losing but Mark and Oli picking up wins. The Seconds lost with 2 draws and 2 losses and the Chipstealers had four losses.

Round 5

After lunch we were up against 186th United. I had an Elven Union mirror match against a lovely chap named Alex. For some reason his mannerisms reminded me of an equally lovely friend of mine. 

I kicked to Alex and he scored but allowed me a few turns to pull back an equaliser before half time. I had the ball in scoring distance of his endzone midway through the second half and was holding off scoring as I didn't want to give him much time to reply. However, after Marc and Oli's games finished with a win, I took the ball into the endzone to guarantee at least a draw. As it happened, not only did I manage to stop him equalising but I wasn't far off scoring a third, which would really have been an unfair reflection on the game. We ended up with a second team win of the weekend for the Stoutfellows.

The Seconds were up against the Brighton team we played Round 1 and got a team draw with 2 wins and 2 losses, and the Chipstealers on the bottom tables unfortunately suffered a loss, despite 3 1-1 draws.

Round 6

Our final round saw us back in the main room playing the WYBBL Spacemen. I was drawn against a chap named Ed who was playing ogres. Fortunately he had a much more human roster and I think only 2 of his big guys had block. 

I managed to stop him scoring on his drive, mainly by removing all of his gnoblars and received feeling that I was in control of the game. I made a mistake by changing my gameplan slightly and fouling an ogre which accidentally left my ball carrier in range of being blitzed. Unfortunately for me he was able to knock the ball loose and I was never able to recover. He managed to get the ball in near the end and with sidestep on the gnoblars, a 1 turn attempt wasn't feasible. 

Our team won with Oli and Matt picking up victories and Marc getting a draw. The Seconds had a loss with 2 losses and 2 draws but the Chipstealers on the bottom table managed to get a victory with 3 wins and a draw. 

Results

Our teams finished:

32nd Stoutfellows 3-1-2

77th Seconds 1-1-4

82nd Chip Stealers 1-0-5

Individually we were:

34 Oli

108 Matt

131 Marc 

186 Marianne 

227 Ross (although this is likely too high due to data error)

251 Stuart M

256 Tommy 

259 Craig 

266 David E

308 Stew

Oli was aslo just 1 casualty behind the winner of the most casualties award, and wins the SKABBers on Tour Trophy

Overall

I think everyone enjoyed their weekends, although I was disappointed both by the separation of the team at certain points, and also my own performance. I had hoped for a better record. I literally could have been replaced by a tub of lard and we would have ended up in the same finishing position as my draw was during a team loss and my win was during a round when none of my team mates lost. However, I like to think that my captaincy in some way had an effect on their performances. 

I did much better last year with essentially the same team, so I've been trying to work out what the difference was. Last year, my general tactic was to receive, try to score in 2 turns and hope to turn over the ball in the next 14 turns.  This year I was chosing to kick, which is generally considered the better option to give you control of the clock although as in most games I lost the war of attrition quite quickly, I really struggled most of the time to control the clock. 

I may have had a false sense of confidence after a few recent practice victories with the team. I may have played badly, although despite a few mistakes that I know I made, I don't think this was the case for most of the weekend.  Regardless, I'm going to have a little break from elves for a while. 

I hope that we'll be able to have a strong showing of SKABBers at UKTC next year, although I know that they have had issues around the venue which may cause some issues so we will have to wait and see.