The SKABB League has a good history with GutterBowl. In 2023, we ran the Universe's First Ever GutterBowl Tournament (TM). We then ran a Christmas one that year and it now seems that will be our festive tradition, along with our Secret SKABBer gift distribution. A quick analysis of the NAF database also shows that we've run more GutterBowl tournaments than any other league. Admittedly only 3, but it's still the most.
Santa's Sleigh Slam was being TO'd by BeardedLucha. Listeners to our podcast will be aware that he loves AI, and didn't hesitate to ask one of the multiple machines that will one day rise up and take over to write the ruleset for this event.
As such, we had a slippery floor which meant -1 to rushing and dodging. If a team didn't roster a re-roll, they they would be given a gift from Santa at the start of each game which could be an additional skill, a re-roll or a handicap to your opponent.
I decided to play gnomes for this. There were a few reasons: 1) I had painted them and hadn't used them, 2) gnomes look a bit like Christmas elves and 3) most importantly - no one else has ever played gnomes at Gutterbowl meaning that no matter how I did, I would be the World's Best Gnome GutterBowl Coach! Here is proof!
My gnome roster was 2 foxes, 2 beastmasters, 1 illusionist and linemen to 12 players in total, along with a potion and a wizard. The plan was to zap the ball carrier with the wizard, send the foxes in to get the ball and then win. As my four year old would say: "Easy peasy lemmy squeezy!" I left out the treeman due to the expense, assumed attrition on my team and also because I figured he would just root in the middle of the pitch for the entire game.
All of the coaches who signed up were from our league, and it made it quite a party atmosphere as we gave out both our end of season awards and Secret SKABBer gifts in the breaks between games.
My previous record in Gutterbowl was 0/6/0. I was hoping for something to break the drawing streak at the very least.
Round 1 v Damo (damology)
Last time I had played Damo, his gnomes were on the receiving end of my vampires in our league game. It was now his chance to inflict a similar misery upon me with his orcs.
Without re-rolls, Damo was hit very had by rolling double skulls twice early on in the game, as well has his troll being more stupid than the average troll.
I was able to steal the ball and I got down the side, but the orcs were able to recover and knock down my fox which meant that we went into half time at 0-0.
Receiving the ball, I was able to get a fox down into the endzone for a 1-0 win, although receiving 4 casualties didn't leave all of the gnomes feeling like celebrating.
Round 2 v Oli (eldritchfox)
I've probably played Oli more than anyone else both in tournaments, league play and practice games. We generally know each other's tactics quite well by this point. I figure he would just try to hurt my poor cute little gnomes, which is exactly what he did. Obviously he hates fouling but in GutterBowl, with no sendings off it would be rude not to.
Kicking in the first half, the black orcs were able to score in 5 turns down an undefended flank. I was unable to reply in the two turns I had so we were 1-0 down at half time, but my super strength fox (from the potion I fed him) was able to get the ball and casualtied a goblin and knocked out another on the way to a score.
Leaving the slow black orcs just two turns to reply, this felt like a draw. However, when my super fox decided to not blitz the only goblin in scoring range (he could have pushed it out of range) and then a heroic goblin did a 6+ pass to the said other goblin in scoring range who caught it and successfully ran past my now stupid fox, it wasn't to be and we lost 2-1.
Amazingly Oli's goblin did the exact same thing in his next match up to make him the only player on three wins and give him the tournament win. You can see his smug face here.
Game 3 v David (clownzombie)
David has just returned to our league after taking some paternity leave. We had played in the Christmas Gutterbowl tournament last year (a 0-0 draw). This time he had undead. I had assume that his mummies would be slow and easy to get past. It turns out I was wrong.
In this game, my fox got additional strength and stand firm. I used this fox to block a corridor and then tried to turn his ball carrier into a frog with my wizard. Instead, one of my players was turned into a frog, and the wight managed to knockdown my fox allowing his ghoul to go in for the score.
David was punching and fouling so I didn't have many players to activate each turn, nor many options. I ended up being pitch cleared and we were debating the best option for the undead to get a second touchdown. Ultimately it is irrelevant as David rolled a 1 on the catch.
Conclusion
Gnomes are a difficult team at Gutterbowl when you can't add any dodge and the two players who come with it are failing on a 1 in 9 due to the silly AI ruleset!
However, they are super cute and I really want them to be fun. I'll have to try them at full BloodBowl at some point in the future.
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